Gundam Wing High School

By Dusted Pyxie (with a bit of help from White Blaze Wannabe)

Disclaimer: I don't own squat, so please, don't sue me, I'm trying to save up money for the Anime convention in Chicago this May, and you wouldn't want to deprive me of my obsession, would you?

Side Note: Heero a Goth? Relena head cheerleader? Who else knows what strange ideas will come out of my head when I'm getting high off hot chocolate and artificial cheese-like substance at my school's Homecoming football game. WBW and I were watching it, singing the school song like the hyper idiots we are, and thought it would be even more disgraceful to kill Relena by cheerleader than by Mini Moon, and then I got the wild notion that Relena is a cheerleader (we hate them, which you will see in this fic) and POOF! The idea for this fic evolved. Comments and criticism welcome, flames too if you feel bold. They'll either get ignored or I'll laugh at them accordingly.

Warnings: Um... none, really. It's AU, definitely, probably gonna be OOC, mostly for Heero, I don't really see him hanging around with Goths, actually, hanging around with people in general, let alone at a social function. Relena dies (duh, if you ever seen anything written by me Relena dies, don't sound so surprised).

Now *drumroll* the fic! (Sorry it took so long, I'm characteristically long-winded)

"Who let the cats out? *Hiss* Rerow! Who let the cats out? *Hiss* Rerow!" The varsity cheerleading squad sang their little hearts out, their new cheer hitting a note with the crowd-- a sour note. A chorus of 'boos!' rang throughout the stadium, which quickly turned into cheers as the home team scored another touchdown.

"Touchdown Panthers!" the voice of the favorite World History teacher and the self-appointed announcer, Zechs Marquise, boomed through the speakers making the bleachers rumble. "Yes folks, another one! We're killin' 'em! The kickoff. He's at the 50, the 40, the 30, the 20... oooh! That's gotta hurt!" The head quarterback for the Panthers literally bulldozed down the runningback from the Explosions. "And that's Wufei Chang with the tackle. He may be small but boy can he beat 'em to a pulp!"

****

Wufei dusted off his pants.

"You are weak!" he cried, snatching the football from the cringing runningback's hands.

"Well ladies and germs, heh pardon my little joke," Zechs continued quickly, spying the eyes being rolled below, "That's the end of the second quarter iiiiittttt'sssss HALF TIME!" The crowd cheered and the teams cleared off the field to make way to the half-time show.

****

The cheerleading squad ran out onto the field amidst cheers. The captain of the squad, and the only boy, Quatre Winner smiled and waved. Without him this team would be nothing.

"Ready girls?" he asked. Blonde heads bobbed up and down. "Relena, get in position." Relena flashed him a smile and took her place. Zechs cued the music and an upbeat, pounding rhythm filled the arena.

"Now I'm proud to introduce, our Homecoming King and Queen!" he roared, "Treize Krushranada and Dorothy Katalonia!" The pair ran out onto the field to the 50 yard line where they were showered with glitter and confetti. "And look! They even have matching forked eyebrows! Aren't they so cuuuuute?" The royal smiles turned into glares and Zechs shrank back into his box.

****

"Hip hip, hooray!" The cheerleaders screeched. "We're number 1! We really are the best! Go Panthers go!" Relena stepped onto Quatre's hands and he tossed her into the air.

At that moment a large wad of artificial cheese-like substance came flying from the stands right into Dorothy's face. Quatre turned around and started laughing when a sudden 'thud' and a gasp from the crowd reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing. A large Relena-shaped hole was embedded in the 40 yard line and Quatre ran sobbing to it.

"I'm sorry!" he cried, "I didn't mean to drop you! It's just that the cheese, and Dorothy, laughing, I--I'm sorry!" his hysterical sobs soon turned into his maniacal "daddy's dead" laugh and he was carried off the field in search of mental help.

****

Heero stood watching from under the shade of the bleachers. His leather jacket was getting uncomfortably hot, but he would never admit it. He and the other "bad-boys" of the school stood in their usual places, waiting for small children to come along so they could entice them with various "happy substances" for ridiculously high prices. When he saw Relena fall he had only one thing to say.

"Ding dong, the bitch is dead..."

****

"The show must go on, the show must go on," he reminded himself. The large, black panther head wobbled slightly, but he straightened it before he ran out onto the field. He turned on his body mic and started to sing as the band struck up the school song.

"Purple, black, displayed with priiiide, our school is here! Set the earth reverberating with a Panther cheer. RAH RAH RAH!" He attempted a back flip when his head suddenly flew off.

"Oh, poor Duo!" all the cheerleaders squealed as they ran to his aid, fawning over his long braid and his effeminate violet eyes.

"Hellooooo ladies," Duo smiled, not realizing his mic was still on.

****

The band was slightly panicking with the singer out of commission, but finished the song with as much dignity as they could manage. The band had been relatively good until the best flute player in the school had joined-- things went downhill from there. Trowa Barton, the only guy flute player, but one of the best, was also one of the most pinned after guys in school. Once he joined the marching band the girls took time memorizing his features and every move, not their music. The silent, bang-impaired boy never paid attention to anything but playing the song right. He marched with the rigidity of a soldier and kept his emerald green eyes fixed on the minuscule music stand attached to his flute.

****

Zechs cleared his throat in the mic, loudly, blowing the covers off the speakers, sending the foam-like cloth into the stands.

"Ladies and gentlemen, there seems to be a small problem in the field. The game is postponed until tomorrow evening where we will continue the game, Panthers vs. Explosives. See ya there!" he final, cheerful proclamation short-circuited the sound completely, sending sparks flying into the crowd, and then all was silent save the grumbled coming from the disgruntled fans as they exited the stadium.

****

The janitors moved around the field, only two bright stadium lights on.

"Don't they ever keep this place neat?" Jose, the youngest janitor mumbled irritably. He moved out to the grassy field and almost fell into a large hole had he not regained his balance at the last moment.

"[Wow](1) there's a girl down there! [Oh gosh] (2), she's dead!" Jose stumbled backwards. "And they expect me to clean this up? Forget it!"

"Pssst! Yo Chico, over here," a voice hissed from underneath the bleachers. Jose walked to the shadows to find a boy with messy brown hair and intense blue eyes looking at him.

"What?" he asked cautiously.

"Leave her be. The stupid cheerleader doesn't deserve to get taken out." The boy thought for a minute, "Hey, wanna buy somethin?"

END.

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm writing this a 9 p.m. trying to waste my time so I can tape the 2nd to last episode of Gundam tonight. Pardon my insaness, but that's just how I am. Please, e-mail me (DustedPyxie@aol.com) with your comments, I'd appreciate it!

(1) Wow-- Replace with "Damn!" This was censored for daytime television viewing.

(2) Oh gosh-- Replace with "Holy shit!" Also censored for daytime TV.